Planning a Wedding as a Wheelchair User - Natalie Barnhard
Can you hear the wedding bells? We can swear that the sparks from Natalie and Steve’s wedding in July 2023 are still flying, and we cannot wait to hear EVERYTHING about it!
Natalie Barnhard is a Physical Therapist Assistant, Licensed Massage Therapist, entrepreneur, advocate, speaker, dog mom, APEX C user, and the president and founder of Motion Project Foundation Inc. This foundation focuses on helping people who have suffered from a Spinal Cord Injury (SCI) or other neurological disabilities to get intense rehabilitation therapy, resources, and support in the Buffalo, N.Y. area. (You can learn more about it here.)
Steve Castrogiovanni, just like Natalie, is also an entrepreneur; he is a board-certified master arborist at his company, “Bella Terra Tree Specialists”.
Like the best love stories, their beautiful story began when they least expected it. They met randomly online. In Natalie’s words: “Neither of us was looking for a love interest, yet we felt a strong connection and pull towards each other. We began talking and never stopped. The rest is history!”
Natalie and Steve got engaged in April 2022. With the engagement came the wedding planning!
Planning a wedding can be exciting while super stressful at the same time. When you are a wheelchair user, there are many other unique components that you need to think about to ensure accessibility and comfort while making sure to get the most out of your special day.
Of course, we had to meet with Natalie to find out every detail about planning the event, her amazing wedding, and honeymoon.
Interview:
Motion Composites: Hello Natalie! Thank you for taking the time to meet with us. Congratulations on your wedding! Please tell us everything!! How’s the married life treating you?
Natalie Barnhard: Thank you!!! It has been a dream come true! Steve is the man of my dreams, and we could not be happier!
Photo by: Adelle: “For Love & Life | Photo & Film”
MC: Let’s start with how you chose the wedding venue with wheelchair accessibility in mind.
NB: To be honest, we only visited a few venues because we already had a very specific idea in mind and wanted to make sure we could make it happen. We wanted something rustic and outdoors, but of course, accessibility was a huge factor that influenced our decision. We are firm believers that if you really want something, your disability should not stop you from getting it on your special day. If you work with the right suppliers who understand your needs and are willing to adapt to make your special day everything you ever wished for, you are in good hands.
For example, our venue (Timberlodge at Arrowhead Golf Course) ensured we had everything that we needed to make our ceremony perfect and accessible. We even decided to change the specific area where the ceremony would take place on one of our last visits. We decided to have the ceremony under a willow tree since it is my favorite tree, and Steve is an arborist. However, as you know, grass and wheelchairs are not the best of friends, but we were able to figure it out. It was a dream come true!
Photo by: Adelle: “For Love & Life | Photo & Film”
MC: Did you have a specific layout in mind to ensure easy movement during the ceremony and reception?
NB: Yes! We wanted to have the ceremony outdoors, and I wanted to walk down the aisle, or should I say, “roll down the aisle” (laughs).
As I said, we wanted the ceremony outdoors and under a willow tree. So we worked with a fantastic supplier who helped us build an aisle with material that outdoor dance floors are made of. My florist helped us cover it with an aisle runner so that it would be pretty and match the whole aesthetic of the wedding. We also made a platform with the same material where the wedding party was sitting on some vintage couches we rented for the occasion, so everyone was on the same level as me.
Photo by: Adelle: “For Love & Life | Photo & Film”
My florist (Kathleen Brown - Bushel & A Peck Event Creative and Design) was also exceptional! She specifically created my bouquet so that it could lay on me and flow in the right way. She added these hooks in the back so that I could hold the bouquet over my arm since I didn’t have the hand dexterity to grab it.
Everything was perfect! I could roll down the aisle to the man of my dreams in a beautiful, dreamy setting. It was out of a fairy tale! Everything came together better than I could have ever expected.
MC: How did you plan the seating arrangement to accommodate your wheelchair comfortably?
NB: For the reception, we made a big captain’s table for the wedding party, and Steve and I were in the center. We made sure that there was always space for me to sit comfortably in my APEX C without my knees hitting the bars underneath. I did not want to always transfer in and out of the chair (since you have to rearrange the dress each time.) We made sure there was enough space for me to roll around and greet the guests.
MC: Let’s talk about THE dress. I know you participated in “Say Yes to the Dress.” Tell us a bit more about the experience. Also, when will it air? Is it the dress that you finally ended up using?
NB: Yes, I participated in Season 23 of “Say Yes to the Dress”. It was just announced that the show will air on April 6, 2024. I chose a beautiful gown, but a part of me was unsure that it was my perfect dress.
I was uncertain and kept looking at dresses online. So, I called Kleinfelds and spoke to my wedding gown consultant. She told me that she strongly felt it was not my dress. She asked me to return to NYC on her day off and look at more dresses in the shop with just her. I picked out 10 dresses. After I tried the first one, I knew that was it! It was the perfect combination of classy, elegant, and sexy. That’s how I finally found my gown! I said “yes” to the dress (laughs). It is a Pnina Tornai dress, and it’s stunning!
Photo by: Adelle: “For Love & Life | Photo & Film”
MC: Did you make any alterations or choose a specific wedding dress that accommodated your wheelchair use?
NB: Yes! The alterations department director at Kleinfeld's went above and beyond to make sure that it was fitting perfectly. I wanted to feel beautiful in my chair, and she understood exactly what needed to be done. She made sure the gown flowed without it going too much on my knees and looking like a big poofy ball gown. She also made sure to cut it so that the dress would not get caught in my caster. She added lace on the strap that kept my ankles together, took some of the material from my dress, and added lace to my shoes and wristband that I used to eat with. She was amazing!
Photo by: Adelle: “For Love & Life | Photo & Film”
MC: How did you plan the reception space to be wheelchair-friendly, especially in terms of dance floors and dining areas?
NB: We just needed to make sure that the dance floor was big enough so that Steve and I could perform the choreography we had practiced during our dance lessons. We also made sure that there was enough space for me and some other of my friends who are also in wheelchairs to roll around comfortably all around the reception area.
MC: How did you communicate accessibility information to your guests in advance?
NB: I communicated with the vendor to make sure that they knew that we had some guests in wheelchairs and that they would ensure that the accessibility information was displayed and that they could get in and out of the venue easily.
MC: Did you discuss capturing those special moments with your photographer and videographer? Were there any specific shots or angles you wanted to ensure were included?
NB: I wanted to make sure that we had some intimate pictures of just the two of us, so the photographer made sure that we took some gorgeous pictures while sitting on a couch. I wanted those pictures to just be him and me. Also, I wanted to have a shot of him tilting me and kissing me at the same time, and we had some gorgeous pictures with some fireworks in the back!
Photo by: Adelle: “For Love & Life | Photo & Film”
MC: Did you work with a wedding planner or coordinator who had experience with accessible weddings?
NB: No, it was all Steve, my mom and me. We took care of everything – all the little details, including signs and a huge dessert display. Somehow, I feel like all those little details are the ones that made it magical.
MC: Let’s talk about your APEX C. Did you arrange it differently to suit the occasion? If yes, what did you do?
NB: YES! I got all white parts from Motion Composites (Newton Air Grips and the accent colors) to make sure that it would be very bridal! I felt beautiful in my chair while wearing my dress, and our pictures are amazing!
Photo by: Adelle: “For Love & Life | Photo & Film”
MC: We heard about what happened with your wheelchair while changing the accent colors on your Motion Composites APEX C for the wedding. Can you tell us more about what happened?
NB: So, my dad was helping me switch the color accents on my APEX C wheelchair, and I had told him what part needed to come off and how to do it. Unfortunately, he sort of chiseled off a part that was not supposed to come off. He said, “Wow, this one was really hard to come off!” At that moment I realized what had happened and I started freaking out! I screamed, “Dad! That was not supposed to come off!!!” he immediately tried to tape it back on, but it was not looking great with duct tape! (laughs).
So, I messaged Christie Hamstra, and she did everything in her power together with Sabrina Storto to process and ship the replacement part as fast as possible! We received the FedEx shipment at the moment we needed to leave for the wedding! It was perfect timing! Motion Composites saved me (laughs).
MC: What about your honeymoon? Where did you go?
NB: We went to Bora Bora, and it was FABULOUS! We had everything scheduled by an accessible traveling agency that made sure that everything was adapted for me and always with my needs in mind. From the flight schedule, where we stopped at L.A. to allow me some time to rest, to the activities we did on the island, to the amazing bungalow where we stayed!
It was an out-of-this-world experience and a perfect continuation of our wedding!
Photo by: Adelle: “For Love & Life | Photo & Film”
MC: What advice would you give other couples planning an accessible wedding?
NB: I would like to say to other disabled brides or grooms not to be scared to ask for what they want and what they need. If you find the right suppliers, you can have the wedding of your dreams! Don’t sacrifice what you want; there is always a way to get what you want. If someone is unwilling to work with you, find someone who will. You deserve to feel beautiful and to get the day that you always wanted. Give yourself enough time to plan it so that you can get exactly what you want.
For all the suppliers out there, don’t be intimidated to work with disabled brides and grooms; we just want the same things as anyone who is fully abled.
Photo by: Adelle: “For Love & Life | Photo & Film”
